


Big Ass Tree

by OneCentWonder413



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Beautiful, Crack, Don't Examine This Too Closely, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, The best fic ever you mean, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, dont question me, i wrote this at school with my friends, literally a crack fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-02-27 10:45:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2689955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneCentWonder413/pseuds/OneCentWonder413
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is literally a crack fic wrote at school with my friend so I don't know<br/>I doubt anyone will end up reading this shit storm, but if you find yourself reading this...WELCOME TO HELL<br/>Or something like that...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the begin

**Author's Note:**

> So this was basically one of the most ridiculous things I've ever written (besides my works cited page which may or may not be posted) and is not meant to be taken seriously unless you want to take it seriously in which case be my guest.

Once upon a time there was a boss ass bitch named LEVU and this lil shit named Eren cuz why nit. Some ill titans showed up and fucked shit up and killed a whole bunch a people and levu was said because they were his friends :'( . Then erne and levu went to a castle or some shit and went to the bedroom. *eye brow wiggle* then they started cleaning which was really a disappointment because they were in a bedroom I mean COME ON. THIS STORY IS BULLSHIT WHY DOES IT EVEN EXIST???? But it does so it will continue. Anyway LEVU and Eren the shota were cleaning and shit so levu was like, "eren open the fuckin windows to let the eren" he giggled. Eren looked at levu with angry Erwin eyebrows and levu giggled again. LEVU STarts BLAZtin MULAN aNd STARTS SCREAMING THE LYRICS, "LETZ GET DOWN TO BUISINESS. to dEfEAT." He takes a huge ass breath and continues singin, "THE TOOOTANSSSSSSSSSSS." Eren was fed up with Levi 's fuckin shit and tripped him because he was dancing like a dumbass. Levu fell on his face and was like, "dafuq bruh?????" Eren waz like ,"birch I might be" and turns into a big ass tree. 

"Look at yourself eren. You're a big ass tree."


	2. the two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really continuous chapter but it also is because there was no story really so....yeah...ok....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELLWOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT I DID IT  
> This one (in my opinion) isn't as good as the first chapter but I guess you can be the judge of that.  
> HAVE FUN

It has been two minutes. Eren is no longer a tree, but instead the entire room is covered in leaves and Eren smells faintly of squirrel fur. LEVU goes into total rage mode and cleans up all the leaves and has a nice bonfire with the leaves where he glares at the fire intensely while cooking marshmallows. Eren is very confused and just sits there like, "dafuq??????" After this the two spend about 2 months or somethin cArving Jenga blocks out of the wood for trees and stuff and they play THE SHITTY BLOCK GAME.

They sit in one of the castle rooms playing THE SHUTYY BLOCK BAME until banjo bursts through the door and levu is angry and puts on his TEEN ANGST EYEBROWS. Hanji is holding a banjo and annoys the shit out if Levi and then announces, "THiS bAnJO IS maDe OF TITANSSSSSSSSSSSSS" and then leaves calm. But she knocks over the SHITTY BLOCK GAME in the process. This upsets the eren human and he cries over the blocks and his tears turn the SHITTY BLOCK GAME into pictures of Prince Adam from Booty and da beast. LEVU is nit giving any fucks and gets really REALLY RESLL OMFG THATSV CLOSE to Eren.(HOLY FUXK LEVU IS CLOSE DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT PERSONAL SPACE IS?????) Eren is still sad and levu extends his limb and places it on eren's face area and gets really FOOKIN CLOSE to Eren's ear and whisper in a smexy bootylicious voice, "I crave that mineral" 

The two are now on an extremely steep mountainside licking salt deposits. They are goats. They crave that mineral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo same deal as last time I guess? If I find enough people read/left kudos etc. I'll write the next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy it???? I'm pretty sure you did (meaning I bet that you said "what the frick frack was that" to yourself a few times)
> 
> This may or may not have a second chapter.
> 
> I hope you look forward to that.


End file.
